news flash

dear jacs,

i saw katie beth redding today in hastings. weird huh? total blast from the past. apparently she's up at ttu med school. it was somewhat surreal. and of course she asked about you.

it broke me. funny, since i was already thinking about you at church, working on that little creative project about you. yet for some reason i was fine then, only felt a little choked up. but after katie asked me about you, if we were still friends, i just wanted to say yes, to pretend that nothing was wrong, everything normal. then i didn't even know how i should answer. it just stumped me. finally i told her. everything was fine, i held it together pretty well until katie went on about her shopping business. then i bolted for the backroom, hiding in the goship room until the storm was over. then, during my break, i started to break down again but was saved by a timely psych episode (dear shawn and gus, thank you for always making me laugh...especially with your disco-tastic outfits).

now, work is over, it's time for another episode of psych (the one with jane lynch!), a makeshift v8 cranberry/blackberry martini, and some chicken nuggets. almost reminds me of your bachelorette party minus the wedding cake martinis (and the resulting dizziness). sadly the cran/blackberry 'tini is not anywhere near as good as the wedding cake 'tini.

classes have started. i think you'd like the children's lit class. seems like it should be fun...and quite a workload, but what else did i expect. i just wish you were here to share it with me. school is just not the same without you virtually by my side...nothing is the same without you, jacs.

well, the episode is about to wrap up, i've finished my little snack, and i'm about to pour out this suck 'tini. then it's time for bed...and possibly an aspirin or two. tomorrow's another sucktastic day at work and then hopefully a fun night with katy and randi before katy heads off to get married. i wish part of my plans also included calling you to talk about class and our projects. i'll try to text or call eric tomorrow, see how he's doing. i wish i were closer and could just go by and hang out, watch a movie, play some video games i don't really understand, just something to let him know i'm here for him. i also need to go and visit your mom. any suggestions on food i could make and bring to her? i'll have to give it some thought.

i miss you, friend. i'd give anything to hear your voice, see your face (in something other than pictures), smell your newest conditioner, have you make me a world famous jacque cosmo. yours were always so good, always perfect. mine never turn out as well. what's the secret, jacs? c'mon, you can tell me...fine, guess i'll just have to figure it out on my own.

so now i'll raise my not-so-good 'tini to you in a toast, friend. i bet they have the best cosmos ever (most likely made by you) up there in heaven, so don't be afraid to toast back. slainte

love,
jens